Divorce is emotionally devastating, no matter what the circumstances are. It is not something anyone wants to go through, but many marriages end in divorce. On top of the emotional, financial and social tumult you may personally be experiencing, if you have children, there is also your children’s emotional welfare to look after. This can be hard, but what is important is that you ensure your children are as protected as possible from any of the negative effects of the breakup between you and your ex.
You can make your children understand divorce despite of their age;
Don’t treat your children as if they are ignorant or less intelligent just because they are young. Be honest without assigning blame to any parent and talk to them delicately but don’t patronize them just because they are children. Make sure to assure them that their parents love them deeply and will always be there for them.
Choose your words carefully
Explain to young children that Mum and Dad have decided not to live together anymore or have decided not to be married anymore because they think it is the best for everyone. If parents talk about not loving each other anymore, a child may fear that he or she will also lose the parents’ love if he or she misbehaves.
Make sure they know it is not their fault
Be careful to explain to your children that this divorce is not their fault in any way and that it is simply because you and your ex have decided it is better for everyone if you separate. Make sure they understand that both of their parents still love them and that you will all still be a family, even if you won’t be together as husband and wife.
Do not bad mouth each other in front of your children
You and your ex’s relationship may not be on the greatest of terms anymore. Never badmouth each other in front of your children. It won’t do anyone any favors. Always be civil and kind for your children’s sakes.
Be sensitive when discussing new partners
This is where you will have to put some of your feelings aside and handle your children’s feelings delicately. Don’t parade new partners in front of them, especially if you have just announced your break up. Explain, in time, that this new person is someone you care for but will never replace your children or the love you have for their mother/father. On the flip side, never talk badly about your ex’s new partner in front of your children. As hard as this may be, it won’t be good for you or your children.
Remember, your children are innocent in divorce, and this divorce will no doubt have a large effect on them. So treat them with love, never lean on them for support, be civil with your ex and make sure they know they can always come to you to talk about any questions they may have.