The Menace of Cohabiting

[lynkez]

Cohabiting seems to become rampant mostly for people living in the urban areas, especially students or even the jobbing. Men live with their girlfriends, whom they haven’t yet introduced to their parents or close relatives. Of course they live as maybe husband and wife.

Some get on with life as couples but some cases run into being dumped. Over a whole campus life, someone lives with a ‘spouse’ but back at home parents know they are studying and live in a hostel or some rental house.

Normally, ladies are more prone to the risks accompanying cohabiting for a man may be married and leaves the wife upcountry for studies or work, as he calls himself a bachelor and is searching for someone to marry. He honestly isn’t looking for a wife but a sexual quencher and a companion during his stay away from the wife. When the man visits home he will not take the ‘wife’ along with him but comforts her that formalities will come later.

Who will agree to live with a boyfriend as husband and wife, someone who shows no commitment by even a mere introduction? Of course a man and a woman who are not related by blood will never refrain from cuddling in romance especially in the cold nights yet they spend in the same house, room and even bed!

Well, maybe some like it that way but believe you me men are cheeky at times and so if at all you should cohabit before a legal marriage either in church, civil or traditional, avoid getting pregnant with a man whose background you hardly know. Living with a man for a whole year, two or more without any introductions or commitments for a lifetime affair in marriage is a clear sign that you should chuck off! There is no need for you to waste your time and life with someone who is not worth it, while your man waits long out there.

You will find yourself a mother yet not a wife when time comes and your purported hubby moves back to the village or town and is not ready to go along with you. Is that the kind of risk you want to take?

Before you move in with a man, make sure you at least know a bit of his background, whether he is married or not and try to scrutinize if he will really be willing to accommodate you as a wife or as a girlfriend. Don’t be shocked when you realize at age thirty that you still are a girlfriend to your ‘hubby’, while you mistake yourself for the wife. Again, it’s funny since even ladies cheat on men by cohabiting with them, only to embarrass them in the last minutes.

It doesn’t matter how much you love him or he does, but the fact remains that chances of him dumping you after a period of cohabitation hold. Live separately and do not accept to bear a child before you get married to the father. If you must sex, then be careful and remember you went on a different mission and your meeting was just but a by the way if not by chance.

Focus on what you are for and let no one ruin your life. After all there are still many singles out there that need serious spouses and if at all he loves you he will be proud of you and introduce you to family and friends. He won’t force you to cohabit if at all he is in for you as a wife and not a pass-time companion.

Respecting your stand will gain you respect from others. Be smart and not cheap. Visit him for days or a week but not months or years! That is not your husband, c’mon!

[Joshua]

We have to agree and accept that cohabiting is now becoming the most preferred.

Before 1970, living together outside of marriage was uncommon, but by the late 1990s at least 50% to 60% of couples lived together premaritally–Dr. Galena Rhoades.

There are reasons why partners prefer cohabiting. Some of the reasons as are as follows:

1.) It gives partners a chance of testing if they're compatible with one another and the possibility of their marriage being successful. It is a free trial version of the actual marriage.

2.) Cohabiting is opted instead of courting for a long period with the aim of knowing each other. The partners live together when they cohabit and this enables to know one another better compared to courting.

3.) Cohabiting is preferred because partners can break-up easily if love gets sore. Cohabiting works with the principle, "I will be there for you as long as you love me and I also love you."

4.) Issues with paying dowry. If a man is not able to pay the amount of dowry demanded by the bride's parents he will settle on cohabiting. There are situations where there is a mutual agreement between a boyfriend and girlfriend to cohabit particularly if they get impatient waiting for the payment of dowry knowing it will take a couple of years to raise it.

5.) Rejection for a marriage proposal by parents has contributed to cohabitation. Some parents reject their sons or daughters marrying the person he or she has chosen as a potential wife or husband. Some parents have a good reason for having rejected the marriage proposal while others just don't any justifiable reason for the rejection. Their son or daughter becomes bitter with them and decide not to involve parents in their plans. They settle for cohabitation.

6.) Cost sharing to tackle tough times of extremely high costs of living. Partners prefer cohabitation to save money. The purpose is to share costs in paying bills and save money.

7.) Partners cohabit because of having a child out of wedlock.

The good news about cohabitation is that if partners stay together for many years let say twenty years, they eventually pay the dowry and get legally married.

[dacox]

1.) It gives partners a chance of testing if they're compatible with one another and the possibility of their marriage being successful. It is a free trial version of the actual marriage.

If this is the reason why you are cohabiting, you should be very careful; most especially if you are Kenyan. You might end up getting married to someone through this because nowadays the government is issuing marriage certificates to any couple living together for more than six months.